A funny but stupid story about me.

bean

bean

Legume Liaison
This story involves nicotine so if that is a subject you want to avoid feel free to click away. I'm telling it here because my other social media stuff is viewed by my family and they already worry about me enough. And, because it is a little bit funny.

So, off and on I smoke (cigarettes). Yes, it's dumb but that's not what this story is about (I have quit more times than I can count). When I smoke I always sit on the steps by our back door. Recently I hurt my back so I couldn't sit on the steps anymore. We have a nice bench on the front porch with a little side table so I started sitting out there instead. My wife made up a little ashtray for me and I can sit quietly and watch the neighborhood while drinking my morning coffee or evening bourbon, whatever.

Couple weeks ago I go out front and that ashtray is smoldering. Puffs of smoke rising up and so on. I'm like "wtf is happening here?" After some thought I realized she put potting soil in it which can be flammable. So, I empty it out, water it down, problem solved. Except I seem to have completely forgotten about the whole thing and went back to business as usual right away pretty much leaving the entire setup as is. Because apparently that's how I do now.

Couple days ago I'm laying down and I hear a weird thud. Dogs come back to the bedroom alerted. My spidey sense starts tingling and I'm looking around the house. Nothing out of place so I stick my head out the front door and all I see is fire. Table on fire, porch rug on fire. Throw pillows about to be on fire. Everything is fire. Apparently that soil combusted again and explodified the lighter which set everything ablaze. I put the fire out, clean up the aftermath then make the call. The "honey, I just really f'd up" call. Luckily, she chose not to murder me in my sleep.

The moral of the story is don't accidentally set your front porch on fire if at all possible.

Facts about nicotine: if you are a regular user you might be surprised to learn that stopping can be pretty easy. Personally, I've used patches and hypnosis and it works really well for me. It actually only takes about 24-48 hours for the body to break the physical addiction aspect once you fully stop using it. However, if you are a regular smoker nicotine can be stored in your skin for several weeks before the body completely expels it. This is when the real work starts. Once your body is completely free of its reserve then the psychological aspect kicks into high gear. If you are like me, and use nicotine to regulate mood and anxiety then this is the point when it gets really, really hard. And, it's absolutely why I have never been able to fully quit beyond several months. Longest I went was a year. My next stoppage is going to be the first week of August. Check your ashtray regardless.
 
bean said:
This story involves nicotine so if that is a subject you want to avoid feel free to click away. I'm telling it here because my other social media stuff is viewed by my family and they already worry about me enough. And, because it is a little bit funny.

So, off and on I smoke (cigarettes). Yes, it's dumb but that's not what this story is about (I have quit more times than I can count). When I smoke I always sit on the steps by our back door. Recently I hurt my back so I couldn't sit on the steps anymore. We have a nice bench on the front porch with a little side table so I started sitting out there instead. My wife made up a little ashtray for me and I can sit quietly and watch the neighborhood while drinking my morning coffee or evening bourbon, whatever.

Couple weeks ago I go out front and that ashtray is smoldering. Puffs of smoke rising up and so on. I'm like "wtf is happening here?" After some thought I realized she put potting soil in it which can be flammable. So, I empty it out, water it down, problem solved. Except I seem to have completely forgotten about the whole thing and went back to business as usual right away pretty much leaving the entire setup as is. Because apparently that's how I do now.

Couple days ago I'm laying down and I hear a weird thud. Dogs come back to the bedroom alerted. My spidey sense starts tingling and I'm looking around the house. Nothing out of place so I stick my head out the front door and all I see is fire. Table on fire, porch rug on fire. Throw pillows about to be on fire. Everything is fire. Apparently that soil combusted again and explodified the lighter which set everything ablaze. I put the fire out, clean up the aftermath then make the call. The "honey, I just really f'd up" call. Luckily, she chose not to murder me in my sleep.

The moral of the story is don't accidentally set your front porch on fire if at all possible.

Facts about nicotine: if you are a regular user you might be surprised to learn that stopping can be pretty easy. Personally, I've used patches and hypnosis and it works really well for me. It actually only takes about 24-48 hours for the body to break the physical addiction aspect once you fully stop using it. However, if you are a regular smoker nicotine can be stored in your skin for several weeks before the body completely expels it. This is when the real work starts. Once your body is completely free of its reserve then the psychological aspect kicks into high gear. If you are like me, and use nicotine to regulate mood and anxiety then this is the point when it gets really, really hard. And, it's absolutely why I have never been able to fully quit beyond several months. Longest I went was a year. My next stoppage is going to be the first week of August. Check your ashtray regardless.
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I'm on day two of patches... again. I've used nicotine to regulate mood and anxiety forever just like you Bean. I got annoyed with myself this time when I started again because I'd been clean for just over a year and was feeling pretty good. Then the night of my first gig in a few years my buddies went out for a smoke, I joined them and pissed away a year of hard work. My kids almost 5 and I don't want him to see me smoking so I go into the back garden and sit where he can't see me.

We've gone to Rathlin Island for a few weeks holiday and I figured this was a good time to get back on the wagon. I've found times when I have a break from the routine is when I have my best results and the easiest time to get the physical craving out of my system so I just have the psychological cravings to deal with.

My weak spot is weed. I'll be off cigarettes for six months or so then fool myself into thinking I can have a joint at a party or my birthday or some other bullshit excuse and I'll be fine but a few weeks later and boom I'm back to smoking again.

Have you ever had the crazy dreams on nicotine patches @bean? The first time ai used them I couldn't work out why I was having these mental incredibly real dreams before realising it was the bloody patches and loads of people have them. I only wear one during the day now and then take it off when I go to bed.
 
SillyOctpuss said:
Have you ever had the crazy dreams on nicotine patches @bean? The first time ai used them I couldn't work out why I was having these mental incredibly real dreams before realising it was the bloody patches and loads of people have them. I only wear one during the day now and then take it off when I go to bed.
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Omg, hell yes my dude. So, I have a bit of an issue with conjuring consistent mental imagery when fully conscious. There's a term for it but I can't remember what it's called. Basically it's like a spectrum. Some people can form very detailed mental imagery when awake and some cannot and there is a whole range between. I'm in the "no can do" camp. But my dreaming state is the opposite. They are super detailed and realistic. When I use nicotine patches it's like dosing the whole thing with LSD. Absolutely intense. I kinda love that part. It's like a little gift to offset the misery, haha.
 
bean said:
Some people can form very detailed mental imagery when awake and some cannot and there is a whole range between. I'm in the "no can do" camp.
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Man, this is interesting 🤔 I’ve read books on mental imagery and music assuming the writers are somehow delusional (because I don’t have any conscious imagery myself, just like you, @bean). I’d love to know what that syndrome you mention is called, since one of my abiding interests is psychology, esp as regards music perception, blah blah blah.

My wife’s an avid gardener. I’ll tell her your story about flaming potting soil just for laughs. But as Will says, glad everything’s ok your side.
 
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Glad everyone's ok, holy shit. I finally quit for good in 2012ish using the ejuice. Slowly lowering my nicotine til I was just huffing chemical flavor. Fake crunchberry and this weird blueberry donut stuff has likely extended my life expectancy. I slowly got bored of the 0 nic so it's been like 8 or 9 years since I messed with that stuff too. Also, it's harder to set your yard on fire with 18650 batteries.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I first learned about ohm's law while winding my own vape coils and chucking clouds, lol.
 
mybud said:
Man, this is interesting 🤔 I’ve read books on mental imagery and music assuming the writers are somehow delusional (because I don’t have any conscious imagery myself, just like you, @bean). I’d love to know what that syndrome you mention is called, since one of my abiding interests is psychology, esp as regards music perception, blah blah blah.

My wife’s an avid gardener. I’ll tell her your story about flaming potting soil just for laughs. But as Will says, glad everything’s ok your side.
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I just looked it up. It's called "aphantasia".
https://aphantasia.com/what-is-aphantasia/

So, for me I have a pretty difficult time visualizing imagery if given a prompt. I can kinda do it, but it's pretty vague and fleeting. But if I'm in a dream like state it seems to be easy. The brain is a true mystery, haha. How weird is this thread now? There has to be to be some kind of connection to visual and auditory arts here. Maybe someone here has some expert knowledge.
 
bean said:
I just looked it up. It's called "aphantasia".
https://aphantasia.com/what-is-aphantasia/


So, for me I have a pretty difficult time visualizing imagery if given a prompt. I can kinda do it, but it's pretty vague and fleeting. But if I'm in a dream like state it seems to be easy. The brain is a true mystery, haha. How weird is this thread now? There has to be to be some kind of connection to visual and auditory arts here. Maybe someone here has some expert knowledge.
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Thanks for that.

I must assume that the hearing part of my brain dominates, since I can’t draw for toffee. Everyone’s different, I guess, so I deeply respect those who can paint, draw, measure drill points on a 1590B accurately, etc.
 
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Glad you didn't fully burn the place down or get murdered. I had that kinda happen with mulch in front of my old house. Never got to full on flames.

I quit for good March 14, 2009. Bit hard at first because my wife smoked for another two years. Just kept telling myself I'd buy more cigarettes tomorrow... and that tomorrow somehow always stayed a day away. Good luck to all those still trying.
 
bean said:
I just looked it up. It's called "aphantasia".
https://aphantasia.com/what-is-aphantasia/

So, for me I have a pretty difficult time visualizing imagery if given a prompt. I can kinda do it, but it's pretty vague and fleeting. But if I'm in a dream like state it seems to be easy. The brain is a true mystery, haha. How weird is this thread now? There has to be to be some kind of connection to visual and auditory arts here. Maybe someone here has some expert knowledge.
Click to expand...

I don't have any expert knowledge, but I know what the name of my next psych-metal band is going to be....
 
Glad you caught it (the fire) in time;
my Mom is 84 and still smoking on the front porch — which is hell in winter.
Anyway, I worry about showing up to her house only to find a smouldering heap of ashes.

Grandfather died from emphysema, Dad died from lung-cancer and related, Father-in-law died from lung-cancer... the list is long.

To any of you smokers who choose to quit, I wish you the utmost success.
 
I smoked my final ciggie in October 2010.

I don't like to say "If I can do it, anyone can do it" because we're all different and maybe there are people more addicted than I was. That's hard to imagine, though. But I did it. And if I could do it, most people can do it.

I don't miss it. I mean, occasionally, but never enough to really tempt me. I'd feel like such an idiot if I took it up again, given how hard I had to work to finally give up.

So just be strong, don't be too hard on yourself, look at giving up as a process rather than a simple yes/no question. You might stumble along the way, but you can get there in the end if you're determined. Some of us just have to try harder, there's no shame in that.
 
I guess I'm lucky in one sense because my grandmother, who had the room next to mine when I lived at home, smoked B+H until she died of emphysema and pneumonia at 72. It contributed to her osteoporosis so she fell off the bottom step of a flight of stairs, broke her leg and that's when the pneumonia kicked in. Two days later she was dead.

Living with that sickly smell of second hand smoke coming under my bedroom door put me off cigarettes for life. After she died I was given the task of clearing out her room. Everything was coated in a stick yellow layer of tar. It took ages to get everything clean. When I started going out with my wife I would go around to her house and when her dad went downstairs to have a ciggie I could tell that it was B+H Special Filter just by that particularly obnoxious smell. Some cigarettes smell worse than others - B+H is the worst IMO! Some tobaccos actually smell ok in small doses. I remember my pop smoking a pipe and it smelt good to a little 4year-old.

My wife's family is Croatian and when we visited Croatia once we went to the family village and in their yard they were drying tobacco which they grew as a cash crop. I had never seen tobacco leaves before and they smelled amazing. But they were going to be used to make Croatian cigarettes of course!

I loved live music and playing in bands but had to get used to stinking of cigarette smoke after gigs. I would come home and wash my hair and could smell the smoke coming out. Hangovers were way worse if I had been drinking in a pub. Now that smoking is banned in pubs here gigs are so much more enjoyable and I love the smell of stale beer! No hangovers either.
 
bean said:
This story involves nicotine so if that is a subject you want to avoid feel free to click away. I'm telling it here because my other social media stuff is viewed by my family and they already worry about me enough. And, because it is a little bit funny.

So, off and on I smoke (cigarettes). Yes, it's dumb but that's not what this story is about (I have quit more times than I can count). When I smoke I always sit on the steps by our back door. Recently I hurt my back so I couldn't sit on the steps anymore. We have a nice bench on the front porch with a little side table so I started sitting out there instead. My wife made up a little ashtray for me and I can sit quietly and watch the neighborhood while drinking my morning coffee or evening bourbon, whatever.

Couple weeks ago I go out front and that ashtray is smoldering. Puffs of smoke rising up and so on. I'm like "wtf is happening here?" After some thought I realized she put potting soil in it which can be flammable. So, I empty it out, water it down, problem solved. Except I seem to have completely forgotten about the whole thing and went back to business as usual right away pretty much leaving the entire setup as is. Because apparently that's how I do now.

Couple days ago I'm laying down and I hear a weird thud. Dogs come back to the bedroom alerted. My spidey sense starts tingling and I'm looking around the house. Nothing out of place so I stick my head out the front door and all I see is fire. Table on fire, porch rug on fire. Throw pillows about to be on fire. Everything is fire. Apparently that soil combusted again and explodified the lighter which set everything ablaze. I put the fire out, clean up the aftermath then make the call. The "honey, I just really f'd up" call. Luckily, she chose not to murder me in my sleep.

The moral of the story is don't accidentally set your front porch on fire if at all possible.

Facts about nicotine: if you are a regular user you might be surprised to learn that stopping can be pretty easy. Personally, I've used patches and hypnosis and it works really well for me. It actually only takes about 24-48 hours for the body to break the physical addiction aspect once you fully stop using it. However, if you are a regular smoker nicotine can be stored in your skin for several weeks before the body completely expels it. This is when the real work starts. Once your body is completely free of its reserve then the psychological aspect kicks into high gear. If you are like me, and use nicotine to regulate mood and anxiety then this is the point when it gets really, really hard. And, it's absolutely why I have never been able to fully quit beyond several months. Longest I went was a year. My next stoppage is going to be the first week of August. Check your ashtray regardless.
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That is NUTS!

Well, I am a smoker at the moment as well. On and off again since I was 17 and have been "on" for about 6-7 years.
(Yes I know its a dumbass habit but at this point in my life it's going to be one of my two other cancers that kill me and not smoking....or my wife from "tumeni guitars" syndrome.... :ROFLMAO: )

So my story isn't quite as dramatic but is similar. I went through a period of only smoking cigars for a few years. I have one of those big deep metal cigar bowl trays on my back patio.

I've since started using it for my ash tray and when I get lazy about emptying it it can get pretty full. Every once in a while I'll put out a cig in there and it's not completely out and the wind is just right and will catch the whole thing on fire. It's never gone past making a bloody smokey mess in the ash tray but I do empty it much more often now heh.
 
HamishR said:
I loved live music and playing in bands but had to get used to stinking of cigarette smoke after gigs. I would come home and wash my hair and could smell the smoke coming out. Hangovers were way worse if I had been drinking in a pub. Now that smoking is banned in pubs here gigs are so much more enjoyable and I love the smell of stale beer! No hangovers either.
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Ah man, that takes me back to being a sound engineer in pubs. The morning after I would be still be suffering from second hand smoke, and hanging my clothes out to dry for half a week to get rid of the smell!
 
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