More jokes

[Chuck D. Bones]

First, Grasshopper, you must clean boards for two years before you are permitted to strip wire. Two more years of that, then you are allowed measure resistors. Do not ask Itamae where he buys germanium transistors, you will be punished for such insolence.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:

"Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home. I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."

Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.






Moments later the guy gets a second text: "This damned spell check! I meant to type ‘wifi’."

 

[Bricksnbeatles]

Is he about to play a bass solo?

No, a tenor guitar solo. I’m about to make everyone miserable

 

[Pauleo1214]

I competed in the National Kleptomania Competition. I took home gold, silver, and bronze.

 

[PapaBear]

 

[PapaBear]

 

[PapaBear]

The thing I find shocking is he only had one BOX!

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

The thing I find shocking is that people post pictures of text when they could just post actual text.

 

[fig]

The thing I find shocking is that people post pictures of text when they could just post actual text.

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

I had to delete this message after grabbing the screenshot so that it wasn't redundant.

 

[fig]

The thing I find shocking is he only had one BOX!

I only have the one box.....our refrigerator came in it

 

[fig]

If your drummer asks for a rise, tell them you're interviewing a percussionist.

 

[Username123]

Hmm. I was going grocery shopping and I saw this. I have so many questions.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

My neighbor has goats, maybe I should feed them some of this on the sly and see what happens.

 

[Feral Feline]

Hmm. I was going grocery shopping and I saw this. I have so many questions.



View attachment 25770

Well... the oregano plant is used a lot in Italian cuisine. By crushing the leaves you can extract the oil...

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[fig]

My neighbor has goats, maybe I should feed them some of this on the sly and see what happens.

More goats would be my first guess

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

The other day, I heard a commotion in my yard and when I went out back, I saw a mouse raping my cat. I grabbed the mouse and threw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. I figured that their German Shepherd would make short work of the mouse. To my amazement, that mouse started having its way with their dog. This was beyond belief so I grabbed the mouse, put it in a cardboard box and took it home. When I showed it to my wife, she screamed and jumped up on the kitchen table. "Honey," I said, "It's only a little mouse."
She yelled back "Get that sex maniac out of here!"

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

pedal building in a nutshell: