The Fall 2024 Hit Me mystery PIF thread - registration closed

Glad bean
We make his heart...uh...peen. dammit.

Imma ship this thing out within the week. When you feel it, you'll think it's full of solder dust and old boots.

Which is probably the case, honestly. You never know.
 
Alright.

Folks, we have lift off.

I just to warn J-town here...this package is not to be handled lightly. There is much danger inside.

RULES FOR SURVIVING THE OPENING OF STICKMAN'S PACKAGE:

  • Sit. Do not stand.
  • If your heart is weak, keep your nitro tabs within arms reach.
  • Same for asthma and inhalers. Don't fuck around.
  • Do not surround yourself with pointy objects.
    • This goes for the knife you use to open the package too.
    • Seriously. Throw that shit safely out of your proximity before flipping the lid.
  • Do not sit under anything that may concuss you
    • In fact, your best bet is probably to do this sitting in a car with your seatbelt on. But God help you if the vehicle is on or in motion. Do so with the window open so you don't crack your skull.
If you follow these rules, and just so happen to survive, then you shall be greeted by a bunch of useless crap that I probably dug out of dumpsters.

Y'all taking about measuring up. I'm here to say have no fear: once y'all see what's in my package, y'all gonna thank your lucky stickman that he made it easier on ya.
 
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Alright.

Folks, we have lift off.

I just to warn J-town here...this package is not to be handled lightly. There is much danger inside.

RULES FOR SURVIVING THE OPENING OF STICKMAN'S PACKAGE:

  • Sit. Do not stand.
  • If your heart is weak, keep your nitro tabs within arms reach.
  • Same for asthma and inhalers. Don't fuck around.
  • Do not surround yourself with pointy objects.
    • This goes for the knife you use to open the package too.
    • Seriously. Throw that shit safely out of your proximity before flipping the lid.
  • Do not sit under anything that may concuss you
    • In fact, your best bet is probably to do this sitting in a car with your seatbelt on. But God help you if the vehicle is on or in motion. Do so with the window open so you don't crack your skull.
If you follow these rules, and just so happen to survive, then you shall be greeted by a bunch of useless crap that I probably dug out of dumpsters.

Y'all taking about measuring up. I'm here to say have no fear: once y'all see what's in my package, y'all gonna thank your lucky stickman that he made it easier on ya.
Should I also not get it wet or feed it after midnight?
Super stoked! ...but if it's a glitter bomb I'll hunt you down in a single day's time. Ain't got no time for craft herpes.
 
It's gonna be a bunch of progressively smaller boxes that get more difficult to open eventually leading to some white washers.

Think lower tech. Way lower.


Should I also not get it wet or feed it after midnight?
Super stoked! ...but if it's a glitter bomb I'll hunt you down in a single day's time. Ain't got no time for craft herpes.

The great thing about being two dimensional:

Turn to the side. TA DA! Cant see me.

I'll say to you what I say to the people I've built pedals for:

"No givesies backsies!!"
 
OK folks, package is OUT FOR DELIVERY.

If we never hear from J-walla again, I absolutely disavow any criminal liability. Cause that's how this works.
 
Caught the mailman on the way out to work
Don't have time to fully document at the moment. Maybe tonight.
1000005701.jpg
Second most recognizable logo behind the Nike swish. Swosh?
Opened in the driveway with PPE. Thrilled the neighbors.
1000005702.jpg
To be continued...
 
People been trying to get me to improve my handwriting since I was in the 2nd grade.

But then again, you can't tame a rebel.
 
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