More jokes

[RetiredUnit1]

Q: How do they say F*ck You in the music industry?

A: TRUST ME!

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

Today, one of my neighbors spoke to me. So I did what I had to do. I strapped a monitor on my ankle, went outside with my shirt on inside-out and argued with a pine tree. That should hold them off for a while.

 

[JTEX]

Chuck Norris returned from a feminist rally with his shirt ironed and a sandwich in hand.

 

[coltonius]

Chuck Norris returned from a feminist rally with his shirt ironed and a sandwich in hand.

Was that before or after he cooked his Minute Rice in 45 seconds?

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

Q: How many pushups can Chuck Norris do?

A: All of them!

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[RetiredUnit1]

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

I learned a new word today: Pretendance

Signing into an online meeting in order to create the appearance of being in attendance and engaged, when you are in fact doing other things.

 

[ICTRock]

I keep the camera off so they don't see a reflection of Helldivers 2 in my glasses.

 

[JTEX]

I learned a new word today: Pretendance

Signing into an online meeting in order to create the appearance of being in attendance and engaged, when you are in fact doing other things.

I'm a pretendancer then!

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

I learned a new word today: Pretendance

Signing into an online meeting in order to create the appearance of being in attendance and engaged, when you are in fact doing other things.

I'm usually in pretendance at in person meetings too.

 

[jimilee]

That’s prime pedal building time during the work day.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

I had the slowest, rudest and dumbest cashier today.

I am done using self checkout.

 

[HamishR]

My cashier is ugly too.

 

[PapaBear]

View attachment 76719View attachment 76719

 

[HamishR]

It was even funnier the second time.

 

[CR0SSBL4DE]

It was even funnier the second time.

 

[Pauleo1214]

Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into the lens grinder?

He made a spectacle of himself!

 

[RetiredUnit1]

View attachment 76719View attachment 76719

Funny, not only does she look like my wife that is EXACTLY the reaction I would get, lmao.....

 

[Cybercow]

Had a great Father's Day! I started off doing absolutley nothing. And by the end of the day I still had most of it left.