More jokes

HamishR said:
I like short jokes. I rarely remember long ones. I always liked "Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?"
Click to expand...
Short or long is good with me; as short as yours was, it was still story-based with a punchline. (y)



Short story, punchline...
Dental-Damn:
An old lady goes to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her legs.
Dentist: “I’m not a gynaecologist!”
Old Lady: “I know, but my husband needs his teeth back.”



What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynaecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynaecologist looks up the family bush.​




What do a near-sighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.​




Okay, enough gynaecologist jokes...
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.​











Here's one I just made up now, on the spot:
"Did you hear about the wedding-band brass section that was always giving the back-up singers a hard time?
They were charged with saxual harassment."




​
 
A penguin driving through the Australian outback while on vacation is alarmed when his rental car starts spewing oil and steam, but luckily he manages to limp it into a garage.

Mechanic: "I can take a look at it after I finish up another customer's car, come back in a couple hours."

Penguin: "I'm not doing so well in the heat here, is there somewhere I can cool off and get a bite to eat?"

Mechanic: "There's a café around the corner, it has air-con and pretty-good food."

The penguin finds the café, the air-con is blasting and the special of the day is kippers n custard — "Perfect!" he thinks, and orders some. The food is good and midway through the meal the server approaches him.

Server: "Your garage called, your car will be fixed in an hour if you okay it."

Penguin: "My travel insurance will pay it, tell the mechanic to go ahead."

The penguin finishes his meal and with extra time to kill orders dessert as well, a banana-split sundae fully loaded with chocolate sprinkles, peanuts, three kinds of syrup and mounds of whipped cream. He's barely started his dessert when the server comes back...

Server: "The garage called and said it was very minor, a quick repair, your car's ready and they need to close for the evening."

The penguin rushes through the rest of his parfait, pays his cheque and rushes back to the garage where the mechanic is just closing the hood on his rental, she looks up at him...

Mechanic: "Looks like you just blew a seal."

The penguin quickly wipes around his beak...

Penguin: "No! It's just whipped-cream, I swear!"
 
How about just punchlines?

1. "Help me find my car keys and we can drive out."
2. "You're supposed to put the potato in the front!"
3. "Tell her her stance is too wide."
4. "That's ok, we're no longer welcome in Home Depot either."
5. "But you fuck one goat..."
 
www.tiktok.com

TempleAudio on TikTok

They say the best pedal is the one you have on you.Meet the Temple Buckle; the latest in pants-based music technology. This cutting edge piece of equipment is designed to keep you moving with the music! Utilizing our Quick Release Pedal Mounting System, you can make any pedal mobile. The Temple...
www.tiktok.com www.tiktok.com
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top