More jokes

This session bassist is laying down some tracks in the studio and he's having a bad day, just not hittin' his groove. Finally, out of frustration he gets up, goes into the control room and tells the producer "Hey Man, I'm really sorry but it's just not happening for me today."
The producer is cool, he tells him "Look Man, we all have bad days. I can see you're up-tight. When that happens to me, I go home, drink a little wine, smoke a little weed and make love to my wife. After that, I'm good to go. Why don't you take a couple of hours, give that a try and come back here when you're ready."
The bassist says "Ok, I'll give that a try." and he takes off.
About 2 1/2 later he's back and he's all smiles. "Ok, Man, I'm ready to make some magic now." He nails everything on the first take. Afterwards, he's in the control room listening to the playback.
The producer says "well, was I right, or was I right?"
The bassist replies "Man that was some good advice, I appreciate it. And ya know, you have a very nice house too."
 
So an accordionist is on the road to a gig, his suitcase and accordion in the backseat. It's a long drive so he pulls over to get fast food. While in line he hears the smash of glass and his car alarm.

The accordionist's stomach sinks before the adrenaline kicks in. He runs to his car and finds a second accordion in the backseat.
 
How many rude bois does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take it out, and one to pick it up pick it up pick it up…


How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around the country for 40 years.


How do you know when a hippie’s been at your house?

He’s still there!


Why are indie kids bad in bad?

They’re always complaining about the 7” they don’t have.
 
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