More jokes

A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge
because the waitresses had big assets and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive,
the food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they
could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good
value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair
accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.
 
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Jim

Jim Who?

It's Jim from the down the road, we've meet a few time before. Listen, my cat has gone missing, and I'm just wondering if you have seen her. She's a tabby, young, green eyes. It's would mean a lot to me if you could just keep an eye out for her. She doesn't normally go outside so I'm kinda worried that she might be hungry, I haven't seen her since yesterday and she never misses her meals. She'll answer to Vara if you see her. She's kinda shy, but she likes hot milk, that might work... She really means the world to me and I'm not sure what I'd do if i can't find her. It's been a pretty bad week actually, both my parents were killed in a car crash... Sorry... I shouldn't have said, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Sorry. If you could just let me know if you're seen Vara that would help. Anyway, thanks for your time.
 
Pauleo1214 said:
Not a joke but an actual photo I took almost 10 years ago when I first met my wife and came to her place.

This was her cat Humphrey. I did not need a book to know he was immediately plotting to kill me.

View attachment 40456
Click to expand...
I've had a ***LOT of cats***. My wife was on a mission to fix all the cats in the hood, and after she winged them through post op, they stayed. At one point we had 43 cats, and that was 30 years ago. More followed....

I see "put that thing down and adore me"......
 
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