Stupid things we've done that hurt like hell

I broke both my little toes about one year apart. The first time I kicked a step ladder as I was exiting the bathroom. The second time I kicked the leg of a giant coffee table (immovable object) as I was getting up from the couch. And that was while on vacation on the beach in Italy with the whole family. That was day 2 of the trip. I let you imagine how fun that trip was!
 
I went to a Country Thunder festival in the Chicago-land area (I don't like country music but my wife does...I just like live music, but I'm pretty crazy about my wife) and it was a bazillion degrees and we had VIP passes with free food and beer. What could possibly go wrong? To get to the washrooms you had to go around a series of gates and I was pretty good at just hopping, gazelle-like, over the non-existent line. What could possibly go wrong?

Well about 3 or 4 belly's full of Budweiser (yechh) later I became less ballet and more insurance case waiting to happen and sure enough, came down sideways on my ankle and was too drilled to know the difference. Till the next morning.

Wife mad at me. Busted ankle. Not sure which was worse. Insurance paid for one of them.
 
Gordo said:
I went to a Country Thunder festival in the Chicago-land area (I don't like country music but my wife does...I just like live music, but I'm pretty crazy about my wife) and it was a bazillion degrees and we had VIP passes with free food and beer. What could possibly go wrong? To get to the washrooms you had to go around a series of gates and I was pretty good at just hopping, gazelle-like, over the non-existent line. What could possibly go wrong?

Well about 3 or 4 belly's full of Budweiser (yechh) later I became less ballet and more insurance case waiting to happen and sure enough, came down sideways on my ankle and was too drilled to know the difference. Till the next morning.

Wife mad at me. Busted ankle. Not sure which was worse. Insurance paid for one of them.
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So how's the ankle doing these days?
 
MF, it still hurts some 10 years into it. If people could have dialed me into all the stupid shit that will come back to haunt you when you're an old f**k. Oh who am I kidding, I'd still repeat.

Kid's, don't be stupid like your old uncle Gordo...
 
Gordo said:
I went to a Country Thunder festival in the Chicago-land area (I don't like country music but my wife does...I just like live music, but I'm pretty crazy about my wife) and it was a bazillion degrees and we had VIP passes with free food and beer. What could possibly go wrong? To get to the washrooms you had to go around a series of gates and I was pretty good at just hopping, gazelle-like, over the non-existent line. What could possibly go wrong?

Well about 3 or 4 belly's full of Budweiser (yechh) later I became less ballet and more insurance case waiting to happen and sure enough, came down sideways on my ankle and was too drilled to know the difference. Till the next morning.

Wife mad at me. Busted ankle. Not sure which was worse. Insurance paid for one of them.
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If insurance paid for mad wife …
 
It's good to hear someone else is crazy about their wife. I let mine watch some baaaad TV simply because she's such a fantastic partner. I feel lucky that she likes me back! She has her similar age girlfriends around for book club every so often and my wife stands out for being the slimmest, most youthful and coolest. They all look dowdy and old but not my wife. And she's funny as hell.
 
I was working at a restaurant about ten years ago. I went in one morning and started my prep slicing some meat on the meat slicer. I'd been arguing with my girlfriend that morning and my mind was cloudy. I was in a really pissy mood and I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. About an hour later I was leaving the hospital with 12 stitches in my thumb. I'm really lucky my thumb was parallel with the meat slicer blade and not perpendicular or my right thumb would have been cut off.
 
HamishR said:
It's good to hear someone else is crazy about their wife. I let mine watch some baaaad TV simply because she's such a fantastic partner. I feel lucky that she likes me back! She has her similar age girlfriends around for book club every so often and my wife stands out for being the slimmest, most youthful and coolest. They all look dowdy and old but not my wife. And she's funny as hell.
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Congrats!
 
I had possibly my worst mountain bike crash of my life last June. A rock washed out my front wheel as I was setting up for a jump (so I was going pretty fast). I tried to recover, slammed into a different rock. Front wheel exploded, sounding like a gunshot, I got chucked over the bars into a pile of old mining tailings. I was flying head first into a microwave sized rock, decided I liked being among the living so I drove my arm into the ground to start rolling. I managed to turn a bit before hitting the rock. The block was thankfully detached so it had a bit of give when I slammed into it.

Smashed the back of my helmet but no concussion. Thought I was okay. Limped back home. But my glove kept filling with blood. Turns out tailings are sharp. Had a huge, deep gash on my arm. Maybe broke some toes. Turns out the big rock I smashed into was propping up a caution sign.

Also once discharged the caps in my 2203 with my hand while trying to change fuses using a pen lid. Through dumb luck my left hand wasn't grounded so I didn't die.
 
All this talk of mountain biking reminds me of when I was a kid - maybe 9 years old? Where we lived we had a steep driveway, our house was below the level of the road. In fact the top of the roof was probably the level of the road. In the middle of the block was out house, then the back yard was down another slope. One time I had borrowed my brother's or sister's bike and rode down the driveway at some speed. The back pedal brakes wouldn't work so I went through the carport, hit something on the ground at the end of the carport ad went over the bars into the back yard.

As luck would have it I landed on the very spot where some builder had emptied out the last of some concrete onto the ground, forming a jagged pile of concrete hidden amongst the vegetation. I was lucky - although I was covered in scratches and cuts I didn't break anything. I still have a scar on the palm of my left hand though.
 
I jumped off my front porch when my daughter was about two. She was wandering out towards the street and my MIL was blocking the way in a panic and totally frozen. I lept around her, caught my foot on her purse, and did a header into the lawn down four steps.

Landed directly on my shoulder and felt immediate intense pain, rolled onto my feet and grabbed her before she got to the street. Came inside and fell to my knees in pain.

My dumb ass didn't visit the doctor for another four months or so, thinking it would heal. Pain went away but I couldn't raise it up. Turns out I completely ripped a couple of tendons in my shoulder and needed surgery. The surgeon couldn't believe that I'd done as much damage as I'd done and basically called me a moron for waiting so long to see the doctor. He's not wrong 🤷🤡
 
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peccary said:
I jumped off my front porch when my daughter was about two. She was wandering out towards the street and my MIL was blocking the way in a panic and totally frozen. I lept around her, caught my foot on her purse, and did a header into the lawn down four steps.

Landed directly on my shoulder and felt immediate intense pain, rolled onto my feet and grabbed her before she got to the street. Came inside and fell to my knees in pain.

My dumb ass didn't visit the doctor for another four months or so, thinking it would heal. Pain went away but I couldn't raise it up. Turns out I completely ripped a couple of tendons in my shoulder and needed surgery. The surgeon couldn't believe that I'd done as much damage as I'd done and basically called me a moron for waiting so long to see the doctor. He's not wrong 🤷🤡
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Last time I went to see my doctor, she opened with, “ok what’d you do to yourself this time?”
 
Back in college I went thrift shopping with some friends and found a GEM combo organ (Italian Vox Jaguar ripoff tribute). In trying to fix it up I noticed the power bulb was dim.

Opened it up and lo and behold it was held in place by its leads, and just was recessed below the enclosure. "Hey there's a quick fix," I thought and went to push it further up into the colored plastic dome.

Thankfully it was just a single finger contact and I was insulated from ground (I think…). I remember facing over the top of it, then being on my back on the dorm floor.
 
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