More jokes

[Pauleo1214]

A drunk guy is stumbling through the streets when he comes across two priests....

"I'm Jeshush Christ!" he says to them.

"Blasphemy!" says one of the priests. "You are going to hell for taking the lord's name in vain!" says the other.

"I'll..*hic* prove it to you!" says the drunk. "Follow me!"

He leads them back to the bar he came from where the bartender says,

"Jesus Christ, you're back here AGAIN?!?!"

 

[Pauleo1214]

A drunk guy is stumbling through the streets when he comes across two priests....

"I'm Jeshush Christ!" he says to them.

"Blasphemy!" says one of the priests. "You are going to hell for taking the lord's name in vain!" says the other.

"I'll..*hic* prove it to you!" says the drunk. "Follow me!"

He leads them back to the bar he came from where the bartender says,

"Jesus Christ, your back here AGAIN?!?!"

While I'm at it.

Why was Jesus Christ not named Frank?

Because Mary stubbed her toe.

 

[coltonius]

While I'm at it.

Why was Jesus Christ not named Frank?

Because Mary stubbed her toe.

Reminds me of the Robin Williams bit about Jerry Christ, the brother of Jesus. Apparently he was a plumber..

 

[Pauleo1214]

Reminds me of the Robin Williams bit about Jerry Christ, the brother of Jesus. Apparently he was a plumber..

I miss his standup.

 

[Cybercow]

If an astronomer comes in 2nd place, should he/she get a constellation prize?

 

[HamishR]

Would first place be a star star?

 

[Cybercow]

If Dave Mustaine were to officiate the wedding of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, would that make him the Pastor of Muppets?

 

[Deperduci]

If Dave Mustaine were to officiate the wedding of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, would that make him the Pastor of Muppets?

but then you'd get Stattler and Ulrich heckling from the balcony trying to lower the bass...

Later that night something green slimy and smelling of old pork was seen...oh that was just Kermit's finger...

 

[Feral Feline]

What does an astronomer get for coming in third space?

The answer is nebulas socioculturalism.

 

[dawson]

 

[RetiredUnit1]

New book at the library....
"Twenty Steps to the Outhouse"

Written by: Willy Makeit
Narrated by: @Betty Wont
Illustrated by: I.P. Freely

 

[Cybercow]

New book at the library....
"Twenty Steps to the Outhouse"

Written by: Willy Makeit
Narrated by: @Betty Wont
Illustrated by: I.P. Freely

Wasn't that published by U.P Dailey ?

 

[RetiredUnit1]

Wasn't that published by U.P Dailey ?

I think it was "Forward by Betty Wont" oops..

and I forgot about U.P. Daily.....

 

[Deperduci]

brown cover version by Huu Flung Puu

 

[PapaBear]

I think it was "Forward by Betty Wont" oops..

and I forgot about U.P. Daily.....

I think it was Seymore Hiney

 

[RetiredUnit1]

I think it was Seymore Hiney

I think that's the writer of "There once was a man from Nantucket"

 

[Pauleo1214]

This product will get your nose broken for honestly answering "What sauce are you slathering your meat with?,".

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

 

[JTEX]

This product will get your nose broken for honestly answering "What sauce are you slathering your meat with?,".
View attachment 49287

Some of the sauces at the bottom would make interesting pedal names. Open Pit Honey. Devil's Spit. Even just BBQ Sauce

 

[Pauleo1214]

What is the difference between Sonny Bono and George of the Jungle?

George heard watch out for that tree more than once!