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A hippie gets on a city bus and sits down next to a nun. He notices that she is attractive and he starts making suggestive remarks. She becomes uncomfortable and moves to another seat. Shortly thereafter, he moves to the seat behind her and continues to make suggestive remarks. She gets off at the next stop. The bus driver has noticed all of these goings-on and when the hippie steps forward to exit the bus, the bus driver says to him "I see you are interested in that nun. I have an idea of how you can get her to have sex with you."
"Tell me more" says the hippie.
"With that long hair and beard, you look like Jesus. I happen to know that every Thursday around 7pm, she gets off at the cemetery to pray. You could be there first, dressed in a long robe. When she starts to pray you can reveal yourself and proclaim to be Christ. Since she is a servant of God, she is obligated to obey your every command."
"That's a great idea! I'll try it."
Next Thursday, around 7pm the nun gets off of the bus and walks to the cemetery. The hippies is there waiting for her in the shadows. As she kneels down to pray, he stands up from behind a large headstone and says "I am your Savior, Jesus Christ."
The nun bows low and says "Jesus my Lord and Savior, I am your humble servant."
The hippie tells her "I have a Holy task for you. As you are a bride of Christ, I command you to make love to me."
She replies "If it is your will, I shall comply. I have but one request, can it be anal sex to preserve my virginity?"
"Of course, My Child." He responds.
So she pulls up her habit and they go at it like wild animals. When they are done, the hippies tells her "Ha ha ha, I fooled you, I'm not really Jesus, I'm that hippie from the bus."
The nun pulls off her veil and replies "Ha ha ha, I fooled you, I'm not the nun from the bus, I'm the bus driver!"
 
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Chuck D. Bones said:
A hippie gets on a city bus and sits down next to a nun. He notices that she is attractive and he starts making suggestive remarks. She becomes uncomfortable and moves to another seat. Shortly thereafter, he moves to the seat behind her and continues to make suggestive remarks. She gets off at the next stop. The bus driver has noticed all of these goings-on and when the hippie steps forward to exit the bus, the bus driver says to him "I see you are interested in that nun. I have an idea of how you can get her to have sex with you."
"Tell me more" says the hippie.
"With that long hair and beard, you look like Jesus. I happen to know that every Thursday around 7pm, she gets off at the cemetery to pray. You could be there first, dressed in a long robe. When she starts to pray you can reveal yourself and proclaim to be Christ. Since she is a servant of God, she is obligated to obey your every command."
"That's a great idea! I'll try it."
Next Thursday, around 7pm the nun gets off of the bus and walks to the cemetery. The hippies is there waiting for her in the shadows. As she kneels down to pray, he stands up from behind a large headstone and says "I am your Savior, Jesus Christ."
The nun bows low and says "Jesus my Lord and Savior, I am your humble servant."
The hippie tells her "I have a Holy task for you. As you are a bride of Christ, I command you to make love to me."
She replies "If it is your will, I shall comply. I have but one request, can it be anal sex to preserve my virginity?"
"Of course, My Child." He responds.
So she pulls up her habit and they go at it like wild animals. When they are done, the hippies tells her "Ha ha ha, I fooled you, I'm not really Jesus, I'm that hippie from the bus."
The nun pulls off her veil and replies "Ha ha ha, I fooled you, I'm not the nun from the bus, I'm the bus driver!"
Click to expand...
That same driver made the news!

1689187007371.png
 
I went and researched a few news articles on this (the school bus incident, not the hippie & nun incident). We've all been to high-school (ok, most of us) and we know what a bunch of little shits kids can be. Hell, I was one. I would not trust the testimony of any of them. Unless an independent witness saw her driving unsafely, then the evidence is pretty weak on that count. Did Lori Ann Mankos handle the situation properly? Probably not. At least she didn't drive the bus into a lake.
 
Chuck D. Bones said:
I went and researched a few news articles on this (the school bus incident, not the hippie & nun incident). We've all been to high-school (ok, most of us) and we know what a bunch of little shits kids can be. Hell, I was one. I would not trust the testimony of any of them. Unless an independent witness saw her driving unsafely, then the evidence is pretty weak on that count. Did Lori Ann Mankos handle the situation properly? Probably not. At least she didn't drive the bus into a lake.
Click to expand...
I completely agree! A lot of kids are beyond awful to school employees and bus drivers, period.

That said, I'm not sure if you're aware of the "I'm the bus driver!" meme born from your joke. The meme is that every joke or anecdote where the person someone has relations with always reveals themself to be the bus driver.

Here's an example; I had a date with @Chuck D. Bones mom and one thing led to another and we spent the night together!

I turned to her and said, "How are we going to break the news to Chuck that we're an item?"

She turned around and said, "You won't have to!", before removing her mask, "I'm the bus driver!"
 
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This one is dedicated to @szukalski

A ship sinks at sea and there are only three survivors, a man, a ewe and a German shepherd. They wash up on the beach of a small desert island. There is just enough food and water there to survive. Months go by, the man gets horny, and each day, that ewe looks more and more attractive. The German shepherd is very protective and won't let the man get within 6 feet of the ewe. After nearly a year, a woman washes up on the beach, barely alive. The man gives her water, food and nurses her back to health. She is very grateful for his kindness. She gives him a coy smile and tells him "I owe you my life, if there is anything I can do to repay you, anything, just let me know."
He thinks for a moment and then he says "would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
 
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