What’s really good?

what amps should I buy 😂
Start with these 3...
 
About 3 weeks ago I went back on antidepressants again for the first time in about 6 years. I've been on something off and on most of my life. I inherited mental illnesses instead of generational wealth 😂. The past 6 months were very trying between work, the holidays, teenagers and aging parents with health problems. I was struggling and I simply felt to much all the time.
So far it's helping. I asked my brain if we could be happy and it told me the best it could do was not sad 🙏🙏🙏
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About twenty years ago I was at my GP about some trivial ailment and she listened and said "Sounds like you have depression". I thought for about a second and realised she was absolutely right. How she worked it out from what we were talking about I have no idea but apparently it was obvious to her. So she prescribed some anti depressants and life changed right away. Since then I've had to up the dose once or twice and now it's just about right. It's amazing the effect it has had on life and particularly for my wife. I've had issues since probably 12 years old. Took a doctor to see what was staring me in the face for years. I guess life had thrown some shit at me and I had assumed that was the problem, but as we discussed it I realised she was right.

I've made some terrible decisions over the years because of depression but now it's all good. I am incredibly lucky to have a wife who gets it and has always been supportive. I can see in my son that he has had similar issues and have tried to be as open as possible and he has a much healthier lifestyle than I ever had as a result. His partner is a similar kind of person to my wife so he is in good hands and just got engaged. We are so ridiculously happy for them - they are deliriously happy too! The pair of them have put in a shitload of work and now it's starting to pay off.

I'm probably happier now than I have ever been. I have realised just how stupidly lucky I have been and am so grateful for it every day. I think that people who work in "creative" fields are particularly susceptible to depression. Looking back I can see that my dad probably suffered from depression but it wasn't recognised back then. He was a very creative person but never had the opportunity to express it other than relentlessly gardening or changing his house. In contrast I have been able to play in original bands, be a professional photographer, write, paint and make stuff - furniture, amps, pedals, stuff for my son. My wife now writes for a living and she writes fiction too. Becoming a writer has made her happier too. Maybe having a tough upbringing makes you more determined to do things your own way if you ever get the opportunity? We have been lucky enough to get those opportunities and life has been better as a result. Right now things feel really good.
 
Another singing update! Any time I've tried to do any kind of raspy rock "heat" type singing (not sure what to call it, we usually just call it distortion in Finnish) it's instantly hurt quite a bunch.

Last time my singing teacher taught me the basics for how it should be done, and while I didn't get it during the lesson, I got the grasp of what I was doing wrong, and now finally sung my first song through with it at home. Strained my voice a little bit, but it didn't hurt at all while singing (not to mention the taste of blood in my mouth that I got with the intuitive "throat constriction" technique which does not work at all), so I consider it a great success.

Obviously there's still a long way to go (with the rasp and with my general technique), but I've already improved massively from where I started.
 
It’s lilac season in Northern Colorado. This is the start of my favorite time of year.View attachment 114689

We have a very large one in the back yard that did well last year.

We had another in the front yard that was down in total bloom from last year and it turns out carpenter ants got into its roots.

That was a weird one for me as I’d never seen that but I ended up having to remove the rotted section of root.

There is some new growth at its base so I’m hoping it rebounds.
 
Nice. It's another month til they bloom here. Favorite smell ever
Definitely one of my favorites. I had to cut back a few that were way overgrown and getting unhealthy. We probably have more than a dozen across our back fence, white and lavender. They will be coming in over the next four weeks continuously from the white to lavender, and heavy sun to low sun.
 
It's my first Mother's Day without my mom, next Thursday I turn 50 and I won't be able to share this milestone with her and May 23rd is the first birthday she won't be able to celebrate...

...BUT...

I played two gigs this weekend, and even though it was just covers and...no ladies made eyes at me...ahem, at least I played music.
And next weekend I'm going to Budapest with some very good friends.

Life goes on and I'm lucky to have music and friends.

Here's to you, everyone!
 
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