More jokes

RetiredUnit1 said:
Sometimes you feel like a nut!

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This reminds me of a conversation my wife had with our youngest two a few weeks ago. On school days, she picks up 7 (boy) and 5 (girl) at their school then drives down the road and waits for 11 (girl) to get out. 5 puts the H in ADHD- when she tries to sit still, her eyes start vibrating- so my wife keeps them entertained with silly stories and general conversation.

Somehow the topic of girls vs. boys came up, so they were all talking about different jobs. 5 said something like, "Boys can do X but girls can't," so my wife (wanting to be affirming and uplifting) told her that girls can do anything that boys can do.

"Nuh uh," 5 said. "We don't have nutsss."

It was one of these moments:

Trying Not To Laugh Colin Jost GIF - Trying Not To Laugh Colin Jost Saturday Night Live - Discover & Share GIFs
 
You might be old if...
[each item is worth 1 point]
  • Used a rotary phone
  • Used a floppy disk (extra point if it was 5.25" or larger)
  • Used a typewriter
  • Used a phone book
  • Owned an encyclopedia
  • Sent or received a FAX
  • Taken pics with a film camera (extra point if it was a Polaroid)
  • Listened to music on a CD
  • Owned a Walkman
  • Owned a ghetto blaster
  • Made a mix tape
  • Recorded a TV show on VHS
  • Rented a movie from Blockbuster
  • Bought a record from Licorice Pizza
  • Learned cursive
  • Played an Atari
  • Ordered from Columbia house
  • Had an AOL address
  • Accessed the Internet via dial-up
  • Used Gopher or Archie
  • Sent a postcard
  • Owned a Thomas Guide
  • Written a check
  • Untangled a telephone cord
  • Paid less than $1/gal for gas
 
Chuck D. Bones said:
You might be old if...
[each item is worth 1 point]
  • Used a rotary phone
  • Used a floppy disk (extra point if it was 5.25" or larger)
  • Used a typewriter
  • Used a phone book
  • Owned an encyclopedia
  • Sent or received a FAX
  • Taken pics with a film camera (extra point if it was a Polaroid)
  • Listened to music on a CD
  • Owned a Walkman
  • Owned a ghetto blaster
  • Made a mix tape
  • Recorded a TV show on VHS
  • Rented a movie from Blockbuster
  • Bought a record from Licorice Pizza
  • Learned cursive
  • Played an Atari
  • Ordered from Columbia house
  • Had an AOL address
  • Accessed the Internet via dial-up
  • Used Gopher or Archie
  • Sent a postcard
  • Owned a Thomas Guide
  • Written a check
  • Untangled a telephone cord
  • Paid less than $1/gal for gas
Click to expand...
100%! I remember the cheapest gas ever was just before crossing into Oregon from California, 8 cents a gallon.... around town in SoCal it was 18 cents a gallon at Lerners.
 
Chuck D. Bones said:
I think the cheapest I ever paid was $0.35/gal in LA. I remember thinking it was outrageous when gas got up to $0.50/gal.
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I started riding motorcycles, off rode, when I was 11. Dad would drive me to the gas station to fill my 5 gallon tank, but I'd have to pay for it out of my allowance of $1 a week.

When I started working at Jiffy Gas station, the price was about 50 cents, but then Carter's apathetic response to OPEC drove the prices up to almost $2 a gallon and there were gas lines and rationing.

All my friends loved me, I'd open up after hours in the dark of night and fill their tanks as well as mine. A few times strangers would show up and I'd let them in too. A cop showed up once to investigate, then "hey can I get my car and come back and fill mine too?"

Then Reagan took the bull by the horns, prosperity flourished, OPEC got it's butt kicked and prices fell below a buck a gallon again.

I voted for Carter, but like so many others realized I HAD MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. Voter's remorse.

Sound like a familiar situation??

I remember when Ray Charles was on SNL and told the audience that Carter's grandfather had owned his grandfather. He pretty much trashed him on live TV for the next few minutes......
 
Every time I look at a timeline of when the modern bad things started happening, the ramp almost always starts at 1980 with Regan.
 
Chuck D. Bones said:
You might be old if...
[each item is worth 1 point]
  • Used a rotary phone
  • Used a floppy disk (extra point if it was 5.25" or larger)
  • Used a typewriter
  • Used a phone book
  • Owned an encyclopedia
  • Sent or received a FAX
  • Taken pics with a film camera (extra point if it was a Polaroid)
  • Listened to music on a CD
  • Owned a Walkman
  • Owned a ghetto blaster
  • Made a mix tape
  • Recorded a TV show on VHS
  • Rented a movie from Blockbuster
  • Bought a record from Licorice Pizza
  • Learned cursive
  • Played an Atari
  • Ordered from Columbia house
  • Had an AOL address
  • Accessed the Internet via dial-up
  • Used Gopher or Archie
  • Sent a postcard
  • Owned a Thomas Guide
  • Written a check
  • Untangled a telephone cord
  • Paid less than $1/gal for gas
Click to expand...
18 points, yay! I’ll provide my address for an honorary bottle of Aleve.
 
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