visit to a friend in the hospital. he had no idea how he ended up there with head trauma. I asked what he last recalled. he told me he had been talking with his wife about cosmetic surgery the subject of breast augmentation came up and he said it was to expensive, why doesn't she try wiping between them with toilet paper. she asked why and I said look at what it did for your ass all these years...
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- Thread starter Chuck D. Bones
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Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
An oldie butt goodie!
Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
Reminds me of a true story about something that happened at work back around 1980. Ed was a department manager and he needed another secretary. He called HR and asked them to send over some candidates. HR asked him how he planned on interviewing them and he told them he was going to give the interviewees a typing test since typing is one of a secretary's main tasks. HR told him that was wrong, company policy prohibited giving a prospective secretary a typing test. It's stupid, I know, but that's not the funny part. Ed told HR that if he wasn't allowed to give the candidates a typing test, He'd choose the one with the biggest breasts. HR told him he can't do that either.
He told them "watch me."
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Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
A couple of smart-ass kids asked me what it was like for me growing up.
So I took their phones, shut off their internet, gave them each a popsicle and told them to go outside until the street lights came on.
So I took their phones, shut off their internet, gave them each a popsicle and told them to go outside until the street lights came on.
Pauleo1214
Well-known member
His scream will haunt you.
PapaBear
Well-known member
I see what you did there
Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
I wish I had known about this Life Hack years ago...
Put bourbon in a cough syrup bottle and you can do shots at work. As a bonus, people will stay away from you because they think you are sick.
Put bourbon in a cough syrup bottle and you can do shots at work. As a bonus, people will stay away from you because they think you are sick.
Reminds me of Carl at the loading dock back when I worked in a warehouse. His system worked fine until he showed up with his shoes on the wrong feet.
Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
Wrong feet? How many feet does he have?
Pauleo1214
Well-known member
This episode of Scooby-Doo was wild!
jimilee
Well-known member
Bwahahahaha
Feral Feline
Well-known member
I had no idea what Puddles' Pity Parties were like...
... Wish I'd known sooner — now I want to attend!
Pauleo1214
Well-known member
I will prostrate myself and apologize to anyone who has dealt with or lost anyone to cancer.
How can you tell who the oncologist is at a funeral?
He's the one doing chest compressions on the body.
Why do they put nails on coffins?
To keep the oncologist from opening it to give another round of chemo.
What does the oncologist find when he finally opens the coffin?
A note from nephrology saying, "Kidneys taken to dialysis."
How can you tell who the oncologist is at a funeral?
He's the one doing chest compressions on the body.
Why do they put nails on coffins?
To keep the oncologist from opening it to give another round of chemo.
What does the oncologist find when he finally opens the coffin?
A note from nephrology saying, "Kidneys taken to dialysis."
Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing cling-wrap and nothing else.
The psychiatrist says "clearly, I can see you're nuts."
The psychiatrist says "clearly, I can see you're nuts."
Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
A guy is undergoing psychiatric evaluation. The psychiatrist show him a Rorschach ink blot and asks him what he sees.
"Two naked women" the man says.
He show him the next ink blot. "And this one, what do you see here?"
"Two couples having sex."
"How about this one?"
"That looks like three women licking each other's breasts."
The psychiatrist says "I appears to me that you are preoccupied with sex."
The guy says "Me? They're your dirty pictures."
"Two naked women" the man says.
He show him the next ink blot. "And this one, what do you see here?"
"Two couples having sex."
"How about this one?"
"That looks like three women licking each other's breasts."
The psychiatrist says "I appears to me that you are preoccupied with sex."
The guy says "Me? They're your dirty pictures."
Pauleo1214
Well-known member
Pauleo1214
Well-known member
Chuck D. Bones
Circuit Wizard
Don't let Hector ring that bell! We know what happened last time he did that.