More jokes

[darwin999]

Ah, so that's why Luigi Mangione went to MacDonalds!

(in Altoona, PA...)

 

[jwin615]

Best to not piss thru your clothing.

This post is brought to you by Old Milwaukee.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[Pauleo1214]

 

[Pauleo1214]

 

[Pauleo1214]

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[Pauleo1214]

Steve Irwin loved crocodiles but he always had a soft spot in his heart for rays.

How do we know Steve Irwin wasn't wearing sun block?

Because it would have blocked harmful rays.

Who sang at Steve Irwin's funeral?

Sting!

What are Steve Irwin's favorite sunglasses?

Ray Bans!

What did Steve Irwin say when he died?

OH CROAKY!

 

[Deperduci]

here I thought I coould turn a dad joke dark.. sorry if repeat
Johnny has a 5lb bag of candy and eats half, now what does he have?
Diabetes, a monthly dialysis appointment and a chance at losing a leg.

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

Jeffrey has a 1 gram blunt. After he takes half to the dome what does he have?

A good time.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

Last night a detective came to my door and asked me where I was between 5 and 6.
I told him "Kindergarten."

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[PapaBear]

 

[Pauleo1214]

 

[Pauleo1214]

View attachment 87519

Pretty much all Christmas music lies on a spectrum of unlistenable to infuriatingly annoying. This and I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas are the latter.

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

Pretty much all Christmas music lies on a spectrum of unlistenable to infuriatingly annoying. This and I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas are the latter.

100% agree

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

Look for Bob Rivers Christmas songs. My favorites:
Walking 'Round in Women's Underwear
I Am Santa Claus
Sled Zeppelin
Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire
White Trash Christmas
Hey You, Get Offa My House