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I have realized I am actually allergic to leather.

Every time I sleep with my leather shoes on I wake up with a horrible headache and feel sick.
 
PapaBear said:
In my youth I thought draft beer gave me worse hangovers, in my somewhat mature years I realized it was much smoother and easier to over serve myself resulting in aforementioned hangovers. Now I've learned to quite enjoy it in moderation.
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A friend of mine hated draught beer, until he went to Ireland on business and he was coerced into trying some draught after work with the local staffers... he couldn't believe how much better it tasted than the stuff at home in Canada. One of the locals explained to my friend:

"It's because your pubs don't know how to clean their lines properly between kegs"


Alas, for the most part, it is true.



Monday morning I asked a colleague how he managed to get black eyes over the weekend.

"I was at church yesterday, and when we stood to sing a hymn I noticed the woman sitting in the pew in front of me had her dress stuck up her cheeks.
So I reached forward mid-hymn and pulled it out. She turned around and socked me in the eye!"

I stifled a chuckle and said that explains the one eye, but then I asked him how he got the other eye blackened.

"Well, after I stopped reeling, I realised she must've wanted it that way for some reason so I tucked the dress back in..."
 
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Mentaltossflycoon said:
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I signed up for the executive business membership, so I could shop at 9, an hour before the rest of humanity. Low and behold it's WONDERFUL shopping in a mostly empty costco. Then I noticed just about everyone looks in the late 60's or older. I'll be 70 in March. Anyway, it was definitely worth the extra 45-ish buck$ to avoid the throngs of misguided careless dimwits....

Then on Thursday, I'm coming out of Home Depot with $1000 worth of roofing supplies, tar paper, roofing rolls, tar, 8 sheets of 1/2" 4x8 plywood, 2x6's, etc and I have to slam the brakes on 700 pounds for a 20 year old that literally ran in front of me and stopped to answer the phone.

Un-effing-believable.... yeah, I yelled GTF out of the way asshat at him....
 
RetiredUnit1 said:
I signed up for the executive business membership, so I could shop at 9, an hour before the rest of humanity. Low and behold it's WONDERFUL shopping in a mostly empty costco. Then I noticed just about everyone looks in the late 60's or older. I'll be 70 in March. Anyway, it was definitely worth the extra 45-ish buck$ to avoid the throngs of misguided careless dimwits....

Then on Thursday, I'm coming out of Home Depot with $1000 worth of roofing supplies, tar paper, roofing rolls, tar, 8 sheets of 1/2" 4x8 plywood, 2x6's, etc and I have to slam the brakes on 700 pounds for a 20 year old that literally ran in front of me and stopped to answer the phone.

Un-effing-believable.... yeah, I yelled GTF out of the way asshat at him....
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I almost never go there and regret it every time that i do. I mostly do our house shopping after 11pm at a 24 hr place called Winco to avoid contact with other humans. They also make you bag your own which if you aren't lazy and/or stupid is muuuch faster. I'll smoosh my own bread, thank you very much.
 
NickKUK said:
Pleasant tour in the UK..
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LOL! I have seen at least 2 BBC articles about people traveling to those places!

I posted about it previously here:
darwin999

Post in thread 'More jokes'

Continuing with the theme of unusual English town names, how about this story from the BBC entitled:

UK's rude place names to be toured by man on moped​

- read it for a good laugh!

www.bbc.com

UK's rude place names to be toured by man on moped

Paul Taylor will visit towns such as Shitterton and Cockpole Green on the 1,800-mile charity tour.
www.bbc.com www.bbc.com

Here's just one photo from the article:
1735777128444.png

You just have to love a country that has such tolerance for eccentrics!
  • Haha
 
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