Stupid things we've done that hurt like hell

… I used a mandolin without the safety guard, or the time I touched the broiler element when it was on, or the time I got this scar near my lower lip I don’t even remember, or the time I drove over the end of a floor squeegee in a golf cart and cracked my noggin with the handle, or the time I learned fire ants don’t think it’s funny, or the time …
 
Laundryroom David said:
How much time we got here

Should I start with the time I cut plywood on a table saw with no anti kickback pawl? Or the time I slipped up and rammed a chisel into my knuckle? Or the time I ruptured a disk putting on underwear? Or the time missed that last step and broke my wrist? Or that time the knife slipped while chopping veggies and I got to find out what a compression bandage is? Or the time …
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Geez, you need to post a video of how you put on underwear just to serve as a warning to others...
 
One day burning yard debris in the backyard. Stirring it around with a pitch fork. There was some kind of wire in the fire got wrapped around the pitchfork. So I pulled it out and tried to bare hand unwrap it from the pitchfork. I full on grabbed it without even thinking nice line of blister across my palm and fingers where I grabbed it. I felt very stupid.
 
Laundryroom David said:
… I used a mandolin without the safety guard, or the time I touched the broiler element when it was on, or the time I got this scar near my lower lip I don’t even remember, or the time I drove over the end of a floor squeegee in a golf cart and cracked my noggin with the handle, or the time I learned fire ants don’t think it’s funny, or the time …
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I’ve done the mandolin thing.
 
I often cook bacon in a 400F degree oven, once while in sock feet, compression sock feet mind you, I tilted the shallow pan I was using ever so slightly and splashed the grease on top of my foot. I keep pictures of the blisters to remind me to always use a deep pan when cooking bacon.
Thankfully it did not dull my lust for bacon!
 
Certain analytical method frequently used at work involves long tubes made of very thin glass, into which a small amount of liquid is placed and a cap put on the open end. Didn't see the crack in the open end of the tube one day, put the cap on and the whole top of the tube splintered and drove a shard of glass through double-layered nitrile gloves and probably 7mm into the top of my thumb. Lot of blood, nice trip to the clinic, and a tetanus shot (which was almost worse than the glass).

Several burns on the forearm from the 160 C glassware drying oven racks (this happens semi-regularly).

Also gotta echo the sentiment of "don't try to catch a falling soldering iron".
 
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Done the plank-rusty-nail when I was a kid, didn't quite get through the top of my foot but bled like a stuck fat-pig.
MTBing — many... dislocated-fused thumb bone 'cause I wouldn't wait for x-rays once they stopped the bleeding
Motorcycle thing cracked my sacroiliac.
MTBing — many many... rain ride descending, cap under helmet to see keep rain out blocked view of tree fallen across trail head-high...
Double-bass did in my right elbow — Kind of a cross between Tennis-Elbow and Golfer's Elbow. Elbow hurts right now.
MTBing — too many... Full body slam on 6"-8" wide "bridge"; GF/Wife had to turn me in bed every few hours for days... 😫
Teens: Friend forgot key — yanked into house by his brother, I missed the entire flight of stairs landing on right knee in basement.
MTBing — way too many to list... only single-speeder at Nepal 3-day race, 3rd day finished with only crank as crank-arm had fallen off...
Done the grabbing solder-iron with peripheral vision and got the shaft...
MTBing — wayyyy too manies t... Malaysian Fire-ants, HK Asian Orb-Spinners, Asian-Centipede... how much time you got?

Most recently — month ago lifted a dumptruck tailgate on my own 'cause I was on my own; thing fell off again back at the shop and required a bobcat operator to lift it. It hurts to even hold my trombone (either one). Arm hurts right now.

MTBing...
 
I was in first year design cutting wood with a stanley trimmer and it slipped and cut to the bone in my left index finger. Actually my hands are beginning to take their revenge on me - they have had a tough life. I like making things and they get stuck in various parts of the making. So now they're growing protective lumps at the joints called arthritis.

The worst pain I ever encountered was while landscaping my back yard with large limestone blocks. As I moved one into place it slipped at the last second and trapped my right index finger between two blocks. It hurt so much I thought I was gonna puke. Lost the nail and the one that grew back has never been as good.

Dropped a piece of timber in a hardware store as I was buying it. It slipped off the counter and landed on my left big toe - I was wearing birkenstocks. Needed to get the nail pierced by the doc to relieve the pressure. Lost that nail too. As soon as it healed i manage to kick a leg of my sofa so hard I broke a toe!
 
Rode up a 20’ ramp on a dirt bike, got some awesome air, landed wrong and got thrown over the handlebars onto my head, bike landed on my leg.

I spent my very first semester of college in a neck brace from breaking my C6 spinous process, and I have a neat little 6”x6” spot in my upper leg that’s been numb ever since! The doc says my helmet prevented a paralysis situation. :)

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