CONTEST Fig Friday 🤦♂️
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CONTEST
SillyOctpuss
Well-known member
This one's recent and technically ongoing. It hurts a bit.
After moving back to N Ireland I got my workshop/music room all setup and have built up 6 pcbs ready to house. I placed a £180 order with Banzai for 10 Enclosures, audio grade electros and some opamps.
After chasing them for a while (standard banzai practice) my order finally shipped but never arrived with me. I tracked the order and my heart sank when I realised it had been shipped to my old address in England and has apparently been delivered. It looks like I didn't update my details with Banzai and missed the delivery address when ordering because I'm an idiot.
I've gotten in touch with a friend in England who's trying to track it down by visiting my old neighbours to see if any of them took the package in.
Fingers crossed it turns up and he can send it on. The funny thing is my wife and I have a running joke about her sending stuff to old addresses months after we've moved house but this time it me
Well I've had an update to this and just to get it out of the way the news is not great.
My buddy Connor visited my old street on Sunday and at the second door he tried we at least found out where the package was taken in.
Steve and Marie* were my direct neighbours at my old house. Marie answered the door and when Connor said why he was there she confirmed that she did indeed have a package for me. Success! She told Connor she had been trying to find my number and she was going to call the estate agents who Let the property to see if they had a forwarding address. Unfortunately Marie couldn't find the package, it wasn't where she had left it and Steve wasn't home. She gave Connor some mail she did have for us and asked him to come back today and she'd ask Steve where he moved it to.
So Connor goes back today and a very apologetic Marie answers the door and basically tells him that Steve said he thought she'd never find our new address and he was tired of looking at the box (it was there for 3 days) so he took it to the recycling centre and dumped it
. 
So after talking to Connor last night and thinking we'd located my parcel it was a bit of a shit call today to find out Steve had dumped it. Annoyingly Marie's plan would indeed have worked, my old estate agents have both my phone number and email address.
Despite this being entirely my fault for sending the parcel to the wrong address, I'm still a pretty pissed at Steve for dumping it without even waiting until Marie called the estate agents today.
*Names changed to protect the innocent... We'll Marie's name was changed but not Steve's because he's a bellend.
Harry Klippton
Not Interested
I always wondered about that use of bellend. Can you elaborate on that?Well I've had an update to this and just to get it out of the way the news is not great.
My buddy Connor visited my old street on Sunday and at the second door he tried we at least found out where the package was taken in.
Steve and Marie* were my direct neighbours at my old house. Marie answered the door and when Connor said why he was there she confirmed that she did indeed have a package for me. Success! She told Connor she had been trying to find my number and she was going to call the estate agents who Let the property to see if they had a forwarding address. Unfortunately Marie couldn't find the package, it wasn't where she had left it and Steve wasn't home. She gave Connor some mail she did have for us and asked him to come back today and she'd ask Steve where he moved it to.
So Connor goes back today and a very apologetic Marie answers the door and basically tells him that Steve said he thought she'd never find our new address and he was tired of looking at the box (it was there for 3 days) so he took it to the recycling centre and dumped it
View attachment 35497
So after talking to Connor last night and thinking we'd located my parcel it was a bit of a shit call today to find out Steve had dumped it. Annoyingly Marie's plan would indeed have worked, my old estate agents have both my phone number and email address.
Despite this being entirely my fault for sending the parcel to the wrong address, I'm still a pretty pissed at Steve for dumping it without even waiting until Marie called the estate agents today.
*Names changed to protect the innocent... We'll Marie's name was changed but not Steve's because he's a bellend.
View attachment 35501
SillyOctpuss
Well-known member
From the Oxford dictionary
bellend
/ˈbɛlɛnd/
noun
VULGAR SLANG•BRITISH
- the glans of the penis.
- an annoying or contemptible man.
"he is a total bellend and should step down as soon as possible
- an annoying or contemptible man.
MichaelW
Well-known member
I actually do......looking for a project to use them in..........
SillyOctpuss
Well-known member
Just incase someone thinks I'm being unfair to old Steve. We have some history of not really getting along. His wife and I always got along great but Steve and I, not so much.
My kid, who's 4, likes to walk on grass, plants and to pluck flowers. Steve as a very proud, keen gardener was not so pleased with this and could never understand why I couldn't just tell my son to stop. Steve never quite got the concept that my kid's autistic and just asking him to stop resolves nothing. His suggestion that I "knock some sense into him" didn't go down very well either.
I'm reasonably confident that my package went to the dump because Steve knew it was mine.
Sad but probably true. Le sigh
Harry Klippton
Not Interested
@SillyOctpuss thanks for obliging me and sorry about your package. Also seems like Steves are universally awful with some exceptions
fig
Village Idiot
No worries mate, forget Steve. Apparently the first batch of boards and chips had some issues...there's a revision due for one board, and some new chips as well. Send me the new addy and when all this drops, you'll have a good set.
As for Steve's suggestion...I can only shake my head. Tis more than simple ignorance at work in that man.
As for Steve's suggestion...I can only shake my head. Tis more than simple ignorance at work in that man.
SillyOctpuss
Well-known member
Always happy to help people discover new and descriptive insults. It's always good to have some new ones in the armoury.
And thanks Harry. It's crap but not the worst thing to happen to me. Also in reality it's my own fault for checking the billing address but not the delivery address. I won't make that mistake again.
SillyOctpuss
Well-known member
Mentaltossflycoon
Well-known member
I too, know some terrible Steve's. The kind that would gleefully throw my mail in the trash. Bellend is also new to me but I understood. In my hood, I think we would've called him a fuck stain. Another arrow for your quiver.
SillyOctpuss
Well-known member
We don't use fuck stain... Yet. but you will hear someone (not necessarily a Steve) called crusty wank stain.
PapaBear
Well-known member
So, basically a dickhead
SillyOctpuss
Well-known member
Yeah it's in the same ballpark. In N Ireland we'd use Dickhead, Bellend, Ball bag, Tool etc interchangeably.
I suppose Dickhead's a bit like a Tube Screamer and bellend or ball bag would be your Landgraffs or your CJODs. They're all tube screamers but just subtly different, enough to warrant a slightly different insult.
I guess then you could also categorise certain insults by YADH - yet another Dick Head.
At the end of the day though Steve my old neighbour was definitely a Landgraff or as we say in N Ireland a colossal bellend.
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Harry Klippton
Not Interested
When I watched Peep Show, I picked up that dick or dickhead had quite a different usage than how I'm used to it