More jokes

[Chuck D. Bones]

Where I used to bank, there was a very pretty, young, blonde teller. I would get in her line even if it was twice as long as the others. She had a little sign just off to the side of the window that read: "Some people talk so fast, they say things they haven't thought of yet."

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[Pauleo1214]

A guy walks into a furniture repair shop…

A guy walks into a furniture repair shop to get his coffee table fixed. The place smells horrible. He finds a worker refinishing a bed frame and asks him, “what is that horrible smell”? The worker points over to a corner of the shop and says, “someone just dropped off some loose stools”.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

The winners of the Phil Spector look-alike contest.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

Strippers like to adopt stage names based on expensive things, like "Diamond" or "Mercedes."

Nowadays, the DJs are saying "Please welcome 'Gas' and 'Eggs' to the main stage."

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

I'm putting this here because I wish it was a joke but the ad looked real-ish.

 

[BuddytheReow]

I'm putting this here because I wish it was a joke but the ad looked real-ish.View attachment 88383

So is his love of doughnuts

 

[jimilee]

I'm putting this here because I wish it was a joke but the ad looked real-ish.View attachment 88383

For when your force isn’t rising.

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

"Uhhh why do these Yngwie pills have Pebbles Flintstone's face on it?"

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

Saw Yngwie play a small venue back in 2019. He looked better than that. I'd hate to be one of his roadies because the backline was 50 Marshall amps and almost as many 4-12 cabs. Looked like he used only one of the amps, the rest were for show. It was way too loud.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[Feral Feline]

The winners of the Phil Spector look-alike contest.

View attachment 88216

Pretty sure the one in the back is Rick Ocasek...

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

This one's for Feral:

I tried to call the King of the Jungle, but the lion was busy.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

It is said that a Ring of Salt provides protection from evil spirits, which is why I keep a margarita close by at all times.

 

[Pauleo1214]

 

[Pauleo1214]

I'm putting this here because I wish it was a joke but the ad looked real-ish.View attachment 88383

They're real and can be had for the low, low price of $39.99.


Also, he doesn't call them doughnuts. He calls them healthnuts.

 

[Pauleo1214]

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

View attachment 88562

I got the blimp for xmas when i was 8. It was pretty awesome. Also the pizza shooter.

 

[Nostradoomus]

Bebop and Rocksteady are still the best villain names in history.