More jokes

I was at a 4th of July parade yesterday and they had all these beautiful floats going by. A little rabbit ran across the street and got run over. Everyone just looked on in horror except for one gentleman who grabbed an aerosol can and ran over to the bunny and started spraying it.

After about 30 seconds of spraying the bunny, the bunny jumped up and started waving at everyone, and kept waving at everyone as it hopped away.

I went over to the man and asked him what was in the Aerosol can. He said it was Hair Spray, it brings dead hair back to life and gives it a permanent wave.
 
Last week I hired a nationwide tree trimming service to give my trees a proper trimming. They did an expert job, but I had one complaint: they didn't pick up any of the cut branches. I called the main office to complain and they sent a supervisor out to talk to me. He said "Sir, we told you this is what it would look like when we were done."
I asked "Where in the contract does it say you'd leave branches all over my yard?"
"Oh it say it clearly on the side of our trucks: "Branches Everywhere."
 
My neighbor called me yesterday and said "I have this killer puzzle and I can't seem to get started, could you come over and help?"
I asked "Is there a picture on the box that shows what it should look like when it's done?"
She said "Oh yes, it's supposed to be a tiger."
I told her "Sure, I'll be right over."
When I got there, she had all of the pieces spread out on the dining room table. I looked at the pieces, looked at the box, then looked at the pieces again. Finally, I said, "I'm afraid we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything that resembles the picture of the tiger. Let's take a moment, relax, and then put all of the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
 
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