Unnecessarily Aesthetic Pedals

I mean, the Free the tone guys are totally messing with us right?

Well...

That's the thing. I don't think they are. At least, I'm gonna choose to believe that until proven otherwise.

They're Japanese cats. And if there's something that I've found to be true over the years, its that there's a lot of stuff that happens in Japan in absolute earnestness where the rest of the world is kinda like "Bro...what?"

Granted: there's a lot of complicated history there, as eastern religions had often been much more concerned with the interconnectedness of all things and have their own benefits and drawbacks.

I identify as an agnostic: I can't disprove all the fantastical and supernatural elements of all these different belief systems. I also don't particularly buy into any of them. But it does seem to me that folks can easily take what is a benign philosophy that helps people find their place in the world and completely fuck it up with the profit motive.

Which is what Free The Toan is doing: they're explicitly a "holistic" company, and their marketing hype is based on the idea that if things are connected, they impact each other.

Which, ya know, is a great approach to a scam. Cause there's like, no end to what is interconnected. You could sell *air toan generators* that deliver just the right amount of ozone to optimize toanzone.

Which isn't to say that there's nothing to be said about the interconnectedness of things within systems. In fact, fuck, there's plenty. Systems get fucked up real quick.

The thing is: like, you're just gonna tell me that your custom turned brass knobs are specifically designed to be massive and dense, and to thus "reduce vibrations in the semi-fixed resistor".

And you're gonna tell me, with a straight face, that it just so happened that brass...an easily machinable and entirely common metal to make such things out of...was the perfect choice for this.

And not...I dunno...Lead?
 
And you're gonna tell me, with a straight face, that it just so happened that brass...an easily machinable and entirely common metal to make such things out of...was the perfect choice for this.

And not...I dunno...Lead?
The more outlandish a claim, the more solid the proof needs to be. Show measurements of how your brass knobs affect tone, or go fly a kite lantern.
 
FENG SHUI MASTER MANEKI NEKKO JAPANESE CAT.jpeg


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Well...

That's the thing. I don't think they are. At least, I'm gonna choose to believe that until proven otherwise.

They're Japanese cats. And if there's something that I've found to be true over the years, its that there's a lot of stuff that happens in Japan in absolute earnestness where the rest of the world is kinda like "Bro...what?"

Granted: there's a lot of complicated history there, as eastern religions had often been much more concerned with the interconnectedness of all things and have their own benefits and drawbacks.

I identify as an agnostic: I can't disprove all the fantastical and supernatural elements of all these different belief systems. I also don't particularly buy into any of them. But it does seem to me that folks can easily take what is a benign philosophy that helps people find their place in the world and completely fuck it up with the profit motive.

Which is what Free The Toan is doing: they're explicitly a "holistic" company, and their marketing hype is based on the idea that if things are connected, they impact each other.

Which, ya know, is a great approach to a scam. Cause there's like, no end to what is interconnected. You could sell *air toan generators* that deliver just the right amount of ozone to optimize toanzone.

Which isn't to say that there's nothing to be said about the interconnectedness of things within systems. In fact, fuck, there's plenty. Systems get fucked up real quick.

The thing is: like, you're just gonna tell me that your custom turned brass knobs are specifically designed to be massive and dense, and to thus "reduce vibrations in the semi-fixed resistor".

And you're gonna tell me, with a straight face, that it just so happened that brass...an easily machinable and entirely common metal to make such things out of...was the perfect choice for this.

And not...I dunno...Lead?
I don’t know man, Japanese people often have a strange sense of humor. But I can also see it your way. I wish I could ask them!
 
Reiki I charge extra — too many fake reiki-practitioners running around giving Reiki a bad name.

Payment in crystals (bath salts, straight meth, etc) and asstrollohgeee! all accepted...


...but NO inter-galactic credits — hate those worthless wafers.

Battlestar Galactica cubits, they're worth something, I'll take those.
Altairian-dollars Earth-yen and Kalganids are only accepted at the Milky-Way exchange's going rate at close of Star-Date.
 
I don’t know man, Japanese people often have a strange sense of humor. But I can also see it your way. I wish I could ask them!

This is an investigation for a Stickman.

Yuki Hayashi is the guy behind the brand. Apparently he's written a book on guitar systems.

Yes. That's right. A motherfucking book.

Holyshitholyshit. I HAVE TO GET THAT BOOK!!!
 
Ok. I bought it. First chapter.

He talks about phase. And I gotta say, this is an extremely questionable way to think about phase.

So...it's worth pointing out that this could just be, eh, metaphorical. But it doesn't work.

Basically, he gets the concept of phase...kinda. He goes on to describe it as, like, think of it this way: you pick downwards on a string. The string starts at 0 degrees and progresses to 360 and back to 0.

Then...he goes on to say, basically, now pick *upwards* on the string. It starts at 180° and is out of phase with the string plucked downwards.

What the what?!?!?

Guys. I'm gonna do this. I'm going to record twice, plucking at the exact same time, and simply overlay a track of a downstroke with an upstroke.

I will call it..."inaudible".
 
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Ah the old “just try to sound smarter than the average person because most people only read and comprehend at a 6th grade level and are therefore much more susceptible to being swayed by run on sentences with polysyllabic words” routine. Clever girl.
 
Ah the old “just try to sound smarter than the average person because most people only read and comprehend at a 6th grade level and are therefore much more susceptible to being swayed by run on sentences with polysyllabic words” routine. Clever girl.
Shoot, I mean, that's my modus operandi.

And, like, I basically *never* know what the hell is going on.

I am effulgent and tumescent with ten-dollar words and bullshit.
 
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