Pedal Limericks

[Chuck D. Bones]

A Circuit Wizard named Chuck
Thought he could save him a buck
He built a Big Muff
The artwork was rough
But the tone didn't totally suck

HA HA HA you thought I was going to use THAT word, didn't you?

 

[Coda]

There once was a Ge Fuzz Face
That sounded, at times, out of place
The hotter it was, the less there was fuzz
A tone Bender would have been less waste.

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

At the NAMM show, a builder named Manny
Was goosed and grabbed by his fanny
"I seek Russian transistors,
Not two hairy-legged sisters!"
"о, ты имеешь в виду такой транс"
(Oh, you mean THAT kind of tranny.)

 

[Bricksnbeatles]

A dirt pedal once I did make
But the windows and walls wouldn’t shake
After checking resistors
I swapped out my transistors
For the J201s were all fake

 

[Bricksnbeatles]

There once was a Baldwin-burns fuzz
Which Fripp used around to get buzz
With the tone rolled for Aspic
The sound was a classic
Cause that’s what a buzzaround does

 

[Mentaltossflycoon]

While searching for pcb bliss
His lady said "something's amiss"
You spent all our cash
And can't use half your stash
Cause you play the guitar like piss

Not based on a true story.

 

[Paradox916]

I bought the newest high gain pedal to date,
That could appease the metal gods of late.
Not just another tube screamer,
But something quite meaner.
Oh look , it’s driven by a JRC4558

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

Think the 741 is quite cool?
It's time that I took you to school
As an opamp it's shitty
The tone isn't pretty
But guitarists are easy to fool.

 

[Grubb]

A young solder-slinger named Melody
Had a Rat clone in need of a new IC
She chose LM308
For its crappy slew rate
Because sometimes you don't want fidelity

 

[Coda]

There once was a Baldwin-burns fuzz
Which Fripp used around to get buzz
With the tone rolled for Aspic
The sound was a classic
Cause that’s what a buzzaround does

I hate to bear bad news my matey
But larks was a guild foxey lady
And if that’s not enough
The lady’s a muff
Triangle, for tones out of hades…

 

[Feral Feline]

I tried to mod a pedal for bass,
thinking increased caps’ sizes would be ace.
I plugged the pedal in
expecting a glorious din
but all I got was mud in its place.

 

[Bricksnbeatles]

I hate to bear bad news my matey
But larks was a guild foxey lady
And if that’s not enough
The lady’s a muff
Triangle, for tones out of hades…

I know that larks was a guild
But the rest of my limerick was filled
And the rhyme was right there
Though it may be unfair
To leave Cheerful Insanity unfulfilled

The Buzzaround was surely on Groon
But after islands the guild came quite soon
Then a WEM Pep for Eno
On Another Green-o
And it’s rumored a Russian for VROOM

 

[Coda]

I know that larks was a guild
But the rest of my limerick was filled
And the rhyme was right there
Though it may be unfair
To leave Cheerful Insanity unfulfilled

The Buzzaround was surely on Groon
But after islands the guild came quite soon
Then a WEM Pep for Eno
On Another Green-o
And it’s rumored a Russian for VROOM

Bravo.

 

[Bricksnbeatles]

There one was a six band eq
With sliders, and a faceplate too!
The B50K
Were two years away
so W20K will do

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

An Alaskan guitarist from Juneau
Said "pedals are one thing I do know.
A Cry Baby's divine,
The Klon Centaur's sublime,
But a Uni-Vibe's numero-uno!"

 

[Stickman393]

A question I have yet to entertain
Sirs Kruger and Dunning have preordained
It's easy to wire
Power on...shit! A fire!
It's the board's fault, I say, I am not to blame!

 

[blackhatboojum]

On the hunt for the perfect delay
2399 was the way
After plugging it in
I said with a grin
“I finally found it, fucking A!”

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

There was a guitarist named Pete
Who filled his guitar with ground meat
He said "I admit
That it might smell a bit,
But the tone is ever so sweet."

 

[Chuck D. Bones]

A young guitar teacher named Leo
Made the moves on his student, sweet Cleo
As he took off her panties
She said "No andantes,
I want this allegro con brio!"

 

[Nostradoomus]

I sat down to lay out a board
In my mind the ground plane was poured
Along came an island, as long as the nile and
My poor design became a chore