I missed this place and what I've been up to

My son was doing the water faucet thing a few weeks ago, turning it on, then putting his head under the water.

This week he's flushing toilets... if he gets irritated for any reason he runs to the bathroom and flushes the toilet, then runs away yelling. :ROFLMAO:

He doesn't knock things off shelves but he likes knocking over chairs.

When Thomas gets frustrated or annoyed he yells "No no running away" as he runs away down the hall 🤣. I'm honestly not sure if I'd prefer knocking over chairs to knocking books off the shelf. I'll need to think about that
 
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Damn this is inspiring. You guys are both better men than I could ever hope to be. Thanks for posting this thread. Silly Octopuss I likely speak for all of us here that if you need anything...parts, boards, or just encouragement I'm totally onboard to pitch in. Tell me what you need and it's on it's way. I got thru the lockdown (and still do) by building as a bit of a "brain-drain" but realize now that I have near nothing to complain about.
 
Kudos to you for sticking through the tough stuff .. I know all to well about the stress your mind can give you when things are tough.. My mental health has been teetering for a couple years with family stress.. not knowing if I'm going to have a family/wife the past 2 years and my job is on the line everyday for a while now. My Cousin started a non profit years 16 years ago called Askate that travels world wide to celebrate autistic kids with clinics all over the world. She has had a movie made about her and their family's journey helping her own son find something that he connects with and found that thousands of other autistic kids benefit from the life of skateboarding for a day.
 
We originally moved to England for my career but since I no longer had a career then fuck it why the hell not. So an absolute shit ton of money to movers this time. God damn moving countries is expensive. When we moved from N Ireland my company paid to move us but this time we had to fund it. Annoyingly as this was our second move this year and I was starting to run low on savings I had to make a tough choice and decided to sell a lot of my gear to fund it. My Princeton, Hot rod delville, Mesa Tremoverb, JCM900, my R7 Les Paul 335 and my taylor acoustic were all sold to fund both moving to N Ireland and also paying deposits etc when we found a place.

So where are we now? Well we’re now up to June and we’re starting to see the light. We finally moved into a nice bungalow in the countryside in N Ireland. W00t. Move on a few more months of working on the house, school hunting, getting medical referrals for my wife and son etc until today.

So where are we now? Well, we love our house, my son has just started a new preschool which has experience working with kids with autism, my mental health is pretty good, my wife’s physical health is better due to much less stress and me being here 24/7 to look after both her and my son. We see my family every week and we’ve even reconnected with friends we lost when we moved to England.

I hadn’t turned on a soldering iron since August 2021 but I now have my own space setup (mostly) and I’ve been working away on a few builds. Despite the gear purge to fund the move I managed to hold onto my favourite prs, a tele, a strat and an old epi les paul I have sentimental attachments to I’m still ampless but at least I held onto my helix so can still play through studio monitors and an amp will follow in time. Oh and I’ve got a gig in a few weeks playing with some old friends in a homecoming they organised for me. I’m gonna try the hx stomp direct into the PA so we’ll see how that goes.

So what did I learn?
1 - Don’t ignore your own health while looking after someone else. You can’t look after them if you’re ill dummy.
2 - Family first. Your job is important but not as important as your health or family. They also won't remember all the hard work, missed sleep and times you pulled their ass out of the fire when you need them to do something outside of the norm.
3 - Always keep receipts and emails of anything remotely questionable/dodgy/incriminating your employer does. That way if/when they try to screw you over you actually have something to bargain with
4 - Gear is nice but a peaceful existence in a lovely little bungalow knowing your family is comfortable, happy and safe is much nicer
5 - I missed my friends. When you’re concerned about career and don’t look after yourself things slide and to my shame I left a lot of good people who cared about me in the dark.
6 - I missed this place. I’ve not been active much at all between Nov 2021 up until a few weeks ago. The last few weeks have been nice catching up on all the things you guys have been building. It’s nice to be back. It also took a lot of effort to sit down and write all this crap out. Hopefully it helps someone else but ultimately even if no one else reads it, it has helped me
7 - Damn I missed playing the guitar.


Oh and @Paradox916 thankyou for the shirt dude. My in laws sent it over earlier in the year but I was in no place to log on here to thankyou for it. I do, however, wear it all the time -)
Hey there he is! Wow man sounds like you went through it. Good to hear came out the other side with it all sorted. It’s crazy how many of us share some parallels in our stories. Glad you like the shirt! Cheers mate!
 
I'm really sorry to hear about the problems you've had. We've had our share as everyone does to a greater or lesser degree I guess. In my late teens/early twenties I was a carer for my mum who had terminal cancer. I helped look after her for over five years while an older brother and sister did nothing except make her feel guilty for getting sick. It took a huge toll on my dad too. Then when my wife and I got married I couldn't wait to get her away from her narcissistic domineering mum. It took a few years but my wife got to a point where she finally felt good about herself and had the confidence to follow her dreams. Some parents don't deserve their children - so now, like you, we adopt a rather different approach to raising our son. He's 25 now (!) but the raising isn't quite done yet!

Then a few years ago we had two parents suddenly get ill and the slowly die at the same time - my dad and her mum. Talk about a whirlpool of emotions! That was when we really leant hard on each other but we coped and came through it. That was just before Covid hit and destroyed my business! Oh well, we're ok. Now my wife is the breadwinner and I look after everything else and make amplifiers and pedals for fun, selling the excess for decent money.

Years ago when I was getting my business up and running we had a new (old) house to pay for and very little money so I sold almost all of my gear and got by with one guitar and a Peavey amp. It was fine! We knew it wasn't forever.

One good thing is that people are slowly starting to understand autism better. My son went to school with an autistic boy who had a helper in class so had a relatively normal life. His parents bought him a camera for his birthday when he was about 10 and he won a photo contest with it. The kids in his class got used to having someone with autism around so would treat him as just another kid who was a bit different. It was wonderful to see how unaffected by everything they all were. In a strange way having someone in the family with a disease or a condition can bring out the best in those around them. I know that when mum got sick we got closer and enjoyed each other's company more than we would have if she never got sick. I think it brought me and dad closer together as well. And when I introduced them to my girlfriend/now wife she become strong friends with my mum. Mum would look forward to my girlfriend coming around, just as my wife does when our son's girlfriend comes around. Somehow having some adversity shows your true colours and it can make you really appreciate what you have.

Right now my wife is at her dad's - our last remaining parent! He's 90 and his back has just given way. But he is in good hands.
 
Kudos to you for sticking through the tough stuff .. I know all to well about the stress your mind can give you when things are tough.. My mental health has been teetering for a couple years with family stress.. not knowing if I'm going to have a family/wife the past 2 years and my job is on the line everyday for a while now. My Cousin started a non profit years 16 years ago called Askate that travels world wide to celebrate autistic kids with clinics all over the world. She has had a movie made about her and their family's journey helping her own son find something that he connects with and found that thousands of other autistic kids benefit from the life of skateboarding for a day.

Wow I just checked out their site. That's some inspiring stuff right there. Thanks for posting about this.
 
Hey there he is! Wow man sounds like you went through it. Good to hear came out the other side with it all sorted. It’s crazy how many of us share some parallels in our stories. Glad you like the shirt! Cheers mate!

Honestly the shirt is cool dude and it was a really nice surprise when the package arrived from the states. It really perked me up that day and I genuinely wear it all the time. It's still the coolest damn logo I've seen yet.
 
Thanks everyone for the kind words. It was a little scary but quite cathartic to finally write it all down. I was rather apprehensive to even post it in the end and am totally overwhelmed by response.

Thanks a lot for posting those really touching and inspiring messages. I dont post much here but reading this this morning (im from France) was intense and beautiful.

My heart goes out to the parents of autistic children! I work daily with autistic kids (mostly on the severe end of the spectrum) as a musictherapist, which is something I absolutely love. But I know how exhausting and challenging it can be of course.

Keep up the good work and thanks again!
🙏
 
Thanks a lot for posting those really touching and inspiring messages. I dont post much here but reading this this morning (im from France) was intense and beautiful.

My heart goes out to the parents of autistic children! I work daily with autistic kids (mostly on the severe end of the spectrum) as a musictherapist, which is something I absolutely love. But I know how exhausting and challenging it can be of course.

Keep up the good work and thanks again!
🙏

Wow that must be a challenging, exhausting and sometimes hilarious job. I know my son can phrase things in the
Weirdest and funniest ways.
 
Wow that must be a challenging, exhausting and sometimes hilarious job. I know my son can phrase things in the
Weirdest and funniest ways.

It sure can be challenging and fun! It can get quite emotionnal too. Most kids I work with cant speak much, or at all, so music can be used as a mean of communication, a way to connect, express, react. Best job in the world for me! (although financially its far from ideal haha, but Im lucky enough that right now its not a problem)
 
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It sure can be challenging and fun! It can get quite emotionnal too. Most kids I work with cant speak much, or at all, so music can be used as a mean of communication, a way to connect, express, react. Best job in the world for me! (although financially its far from ideal haha, but Im lucky enough that right now its not a problem)

My sons speech was pretty delayed though he has started to talk now. His speech, is different to most kids his age in the way he phrases things and whether he decides to answer you or not.

The one constant however has been music. He's always reacted well to it. It helps calm his frustrations, his rages and it helps him to sleep at night. It's quite remarkable sometimes seeing it work
 
My sons speech was pretty delayed though he has started to talk now. His speech, is different to most kids his age in the way he phrases things and whether he decides to answer you or not.

The one constant however has been music. He's always reacted well to it. It helps calm his frustrations, his rages and it helps him to sleep at night. It's quite remarkable sometimes seeing it work

Yes, music can be so powerful and therapeutic.
Im sure we all here do quite a bit of self-healing by playing music (and building all those weird effect boxes 😂)
 
I am feeling you completely, and respect putting yourself in a vulnerable place to share this with us.

It's a fine balance to look after yourself and look after those you love. It's great to see you back getting your personal happiness balance back, music is a big part of who a lot of us are and we share the pain of not indulging in this.

Enjoy the craic, and cranking the iron again!
 
You're a badass @SillyOctpuss

Great story. I especially enjoyed how you handled your employers. It reminds me of the stories of malicious compliance over on Reddit.

Glad things are working out for you and your family. Your life is challenging but I'm sure it's also full of happiness.

This place is very welcoming of people who aren't building much right now but still like to hang around so I hope to see you in the threads.
 
You're a badass @SillyOctpuss

Great story. I especially enjoyed how you handled your employers. It reminds me of the stories of malicious compliance over on Reddit.

Glad things are working out for you and your family. Your life is challenging but I'm sure it's also full of happiness.

This place is very welcoming of people who aren't building much right now but still like to hang around so I hope to see you in the threads.

Oh I'll be building again, I missed the smell of solder too much... Hmm solder scented incense... the perfect gift for the guitarist who only plays long enough to check their new build works before going off to take pictures of it and write a build report.
 
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